Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Greetings all. On this Tuesday I am grateful for a service oriented heart and attitude, that allows me to run our home smoothly (most of the time) and with an eye toward frugality (most the time - LOL).
Yesterday on menu Monday I mentioned that I had a hard time feeling motivated to spend an hour at the end of the day, making a healthy dinner. Yes, occasionally I do the crock pot thing or remember to make something ahead. Most times I need to do it at the end of the day though, and many times fresh food . . . well just tastes better fresh! So making ahead is not an option sometimes. Anyway, just wanted to expound on the change in my heart a bit more on this today. Like I mentioned before, I am service minded. I worked in retail for almost 15 years before getting a chance to be a SAHM with my twins. So I have been both, a working mom and a stay at home mom. I was/am good at retail and never thought I would miss it. If you had asked me 5 years ago if I wanted to be a SAHM, I would have said "heck yea"! LOL I am sure there are many working moms who know what is coming next . . . . Well when I found out I was expecting (what a surprise) I still planned to work. My boss and I were even discussing soft wear I could use at home so as to only be at work half the time. When I found out it was twins . . . (double heck of a surprise) It just didn't make sense financially. Our family went from having 4 jobs between my DH and myself to one, yea. DH had two, but quit one so as to be more help with the new arrivals, bless him (and I did need him as we are hundreds of miles from family) and I of course gave up my day job when I was put on bed rest. I had also been watching some neighbor children, but that ended (God has good timing). Anyway, we were still doing okay, for a while. Then DH kept getting sicker and sicker from the chemicals at the factory he worked in, not to mention the mental stress of working with non-Christians all day who seemed to go out of their way to show they knew all the commandments and were set on braking them all. Almost two years ago he made the decision to go back to his lower paying retail job and quite the factory. He is much healthier and happier, but our finances are still in disarray. I was and am still frustrated much of the time, trying to find a way to help with the money/cash flow and spend it wisely. I can not tell you how much I have struggled with this, and prayed over this. See with my servants heart and attitude, I "need" to work and feel like I am contributing. I even feel restless if at any point of the day I am, gasp, caught up on house/school work! DH thinks this is hilarious when he sees me kind of standing in the middle of a room looking disoriented. And yes, DH is always reassuring me that what I do at home and taking such good care of the kids IS contributing to our home. Anyway, you see the vicious circle going on here. About two weeks ago while praying over another, should I work or do such and such to help the family, I heard God. Now I don't want you to think I "hear" HIM all the time. I don't. Can't tell you how many prayers He didn't answer me on, or at least in my time. DH prayed about work, took three years for that one to get an answer. Anyway, I can only recall about 3 times in the past 3 years I have heard HIM loud and clear. This time HE asked me a question, "who's glory is it for?" I was stunned. I thought a moment, and yes I could JUSTIFY all my prayers and choices but they would be for me. GOD made it pretty clear that He wants me here, at home, home schooling the children and teaching them in HIS word and ways.
Since then I have come to view what I do for the house as my "job". God needs me to be a good steward with the money we do have coming in. Why would we be blessed with more if were not taking care of what we have? So as I make menus and search for bargains on healthy food, teach my children how to garden and cook with our own produce and make healthy food from scratch with no corn syrup or preservatives, I know God has blessed my hands too! I no longer resent the time in the kitchen. I put in some Billy Joel ( showing my age here), shew the kids outside for awhile and rock out while I chop, stir, cook and prepare. Yes I am tired, and hot (especially this time of year) but we sit down as a family and enjoy our time together. I look at it as an hour of my time with my music, my thoughts, doing something I enjoy anyway (sometimes not after 8 hours of kids being . . . . well kids) and with my God.
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Blessings, Beth Ann