Monday, March 03, 2008

God given words

I have been reading the Redemption series of books by Karen Kingsbury, off and on over the past year. They are wonderful books and I highly recommend them. I just usually have five or so books I am reading at one time, not counting the kids school books we do as read aloud, that is why so long on the first series. I have just moved on to next group of books in the series, First born. Again I highly recommend these books. But that is not what today's blog is about. I did not call you here to give you a book report. Yesterday I blogged about having a disappointment in my life over common beliefs at our home schooling co=op. It took me almost a week to be able to put down in words what needed to be said without being ugly or basically acting like the people in charge, like high schoolers. The common denominator here is that in the books the character's regularly pray to God for the right words for the given situation. I was impressed with this but never felt it had happened to me and wondered if it was just wishful thinking. I guess I should have made the connection when a couple weeks ago I was having a conversation with a friend and we were talking about her art. She is one of the most talented artist I have seen, but to look at her you would never guess it. Her life is a mess, and the outside isn't in any better order. But she said that when she sits down to paint it is like she isn't herself, she isn't in control. These beautiful, peaceful visions just flow out of her. I am by no means an artist or necessarily talented in any one area, but I commented that I felt a little of that sometimes while typing/writing. I will seem to just be filled with words and know how to convey the appropriate feelings with the right words. See usually I run on at the mouth, have verbal dyslexia and just in general put my foot in my mouth. But when I am journaling, blogging, sending words of encouragement.... well it is something a bit like Cyrano De Bergerac. Never said I could spell though ~ LOL Anyway, I felt yesterday was about as long as I could put off sending in my letter of resignation for co=op. I was nervous and my stomach was knotted all week. Just didn't know what to say. It all sounded petty, childish and full of anger (which I was). Yesterday when I came home from church I felt revived a bit spiritually, even though I almost missed communion and my friend had to notify the pastor that some of us who work in the back would like to partake. Anyway, I was still putting it off. After I put the twins down for a nap, I puttered around until I couldn't put it off any longer. Guess what happened when I sat down and prayed to God to give me the right words? That's right, one of the most prolific letters stating my faith emerged from my keyboard. I showed my DH when he came home from work and he almost cried and told me how proud of me he was and that it conveyed what needed to be said without degrading or tearing down others. Sounds silly, but I feel it is hard to do just that when you are hurt and feeling bereft of human compassion from the other party. Our natural first instinct is to lash out and hurt as we have been hurt. This is what I tell my kids, "some times the hardest thing to do is nothing". Now where have I heard this whole turn the other cheek thing before? ... Oh that's right, the bible!

Blessings, Beth Ann

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